We have been nurtured from school to read, write and also to read. Unfortunately, we are not taught to listen to others. Almost all misfortunes are caused due to misunderstanding. Poor listening and interpretation of what one wishes to say is a major cause for misunderstanding. Almost all great people have emphasised on effective listening for good interpersonal relationship. You may wonder why I am trying to repeat the same despite many great had made this point clear. I am repeating this again for those people who live in their own perspective and refuse to understand what others are trying to say. I would like to share some experience that took place in my life which pushes me every time to try listening patiently to others and to understand what they are trying to say.
I used to work with complete concentration, so if anyone speaks to me, I would hardly listen to them and if I listen, I won’t turn my face to them and make eye contact. This happened every time until my mom pointed it as a mistake, till that moment I felt like I was spotless. That day I traced back every similar incident which I could remember. I then regretted for not understanding what others were trying to say and depressed for ruining the relationships. From that moment I am trying to change myself to halt my job for few moments and simply listen to them. This deviated my mind initially so, I would request the speaker that I would listen to them later if that it is not an emergency. At many instances we would have ignored many people at many instances because of our prejudice.
This problem not only resides with me alone. Many have this problem without knowing it as their fault, for example yesterday while I was travelling, the person next to my seat was talking to me and others very well. He was also empathetic with two ladies who were travelling with us. He then enquired with the driver about a place which he wanted to get down. Unfortunately, the driver didn’t know the place so he said he didn’t know the place and he would stop the bus where the man wants to get down. The man immediately asked the driver why haven’t he known the place being a driver. Immediately the tussle begun. This wouldn’t have happened if both the people had listened empathetically. The man didn’t stop whining about the driver until I slept. There was rupture in the relationship. These kind of ruptures in relationships exists not only at smaller grounds but also at world level. The best example would be China-America trade war.
This isn’t an ordinary problem as many pretend to do this kind of mistake thinking they are right. Your problems are spotted when you listen. Others needs can be understood only if you could understand their words and their emotions. Your ideas can be clearly explained only if you could understand the other person’s intensions and mood. Listening involves not only listening to people alone but it also includes understanding the messages people are trying to convey through different means like, promotions done in theatre to keep the place clean. If such promotions are understood properly, almost many problems wouldn’t have casted. If we understand the people we love, there won’t be any depression and hatred. It is a simple skill which I think everyone must master.
Give a try to listen today
Be an expert one day
Just give a try understanding others through your empathetic listening whenever you can, then feel the difference in you.